Thursday, May 24, 2012

I just can't blog, Captain! I don't have the Grama

Well hello south Georgia written English education...It is nice to see you out and about. You are looking a bit worse for wear since I last paid attention to you. Do you remember that one time prepping for the SAT's?*giggle* Or that first resume that was a total train wreck? Good times, good times!

I wonder, now that I am older, whether or not we were ever meant to be. I mean, you with all of your rules for this and that, and me? Well now I was never one for rules was I? Cross the tee's and dot the iee's. I before e except after c, but only if the stars cross Uranus and the constellation Leo is in retrograde. You can't hobble a free spirit such as I with your silly grammatical equations.

I digress...I just wanted to tell you that as bad as I was, I did try my best! There are some lessons that have stuck to me despite a hard scrubbing from life and a dose of the good old Internet. What's that? Why yes! I am now a blogger. That is why I am so glad I ran into you today. You see, I miss a few things. I miss that critical eye hovering over my every paper to gleefully slash all of my errors in red. I am wistful of those quizzes that somehow I managed to pass by a split hair. Above all, I miss the almost auto magic recall of the rules of the written English language.

Since I am no time lord, I will just have to muddle through with the spell checker and what little knowledge remains from my time with you. Say again? You want me back? I am so sorry, walking back down memory lane with you must have affected my hearing. Your serious? Well, not to hock a big loogey on your freshly dug up dreams, but you've got to be out of your index!

School is over... I am a grown woman and if I want to butcher and splatter dangling participles, missing prepositions, or fused sentences I will. And gods pity the fool that suggests that I should have stayed with you. You are too restrictive, pushy, and totally old fashioned. Get with the times!

B/C HOW CAN MILIONZ OF INT3RN3T U3SRS B WRONG?!?!????? WTH LOL I M3AN COM3 ON!11!!! WTH U WUD HAEV 2 B A COMPL3TE FOL NOT 2 FOLOW DA TR3NDS RIGHT??!?! LOL

P3AEC OUT GRMMAR!11111111 WTH LOL


2 comments:

  1. I am horrible at grammer. I had to have my wife check my papers when I was doing college classes. My personal big problem is commas. I like to add extra.

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  2. I had to just do a dear John letter to my lack of grammar. It is sucky at best, and woe betide anyone who texts me. But it has been noted in my little head, and improvements will be coming as soon as my nephew starts the third grade and I can borrow his English books!

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