Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Why I Need a Prosthetic Penis

WARNING: The following post will contain MASSIVE amounts of foul language and bitchery. Please hide the kiddos and help your selves to some beer.

Last night, after at last completing Ascalon Catacombs in Story Mode with my new buddies, I wen to the Straights of Devastation to run the 3 event chain there to get Sia *lev 73 whoot!!* to 80. From no where I get a party invite. Me? Friendly type of peeps I am, I join in.

Big big big big big big mistake. First it is just hey how's you kinda chatter, but one proclaimed 14 then 24 year old male starts whispering me.

*please note I was farming this events and did not get a screen of this convo. By the time I though to do so, I had already logged for the night. Also I have changed leet speak to my form of English. You are welcome.*

Him- Hey, new to guild wars?
Me- Nope old hand at this!
Him- ???
Me- 8 years GW1 and 408 hours in Gw2. You?
Him- Dayumm that is leet! 
Me-  Thank you! I also have a blog. -address- Check it out sometime!
Him- *something about me being a dude making a female toon*
Me- That is because I am female...
Him- Got any pics??
Me- Sure I have a few on my blog.
Him - links broke
Me- Google Trippin Tyria
Him-  There is only one pic of you.
Me- There are more but in past posts.
Him- your pretty!
Me- Thanks! 
Him- Are your boob real?
Me-Of course.
Him- C's??
Me- No DD. 
Him-  Nice
Me- Thanks...
Him- Spit or swallow? ;)
Me- I have to go. *block*

See the thing here is that sarcasm does not translate into words very well. Yes, I have a rack, I am a chick. Y,es they are nice, my Hunny likes em just fine. NO, I will not apologize for showing cleavage on my blog page, as I am more than my breast size. I am an intelligent hard working woman that loves to game. Alas it is jack-off dick heads like the above that just make the rest of you decent guys look like shit. 

I understand that being immature is a big excuse for this behavior. But when the fuck does immature cross the line to fucktard? See above. 

When the hell is it going to be ok for chicks to be good at games without the whole -wth gtfo cunt- or the every popular -go make me a sammich- shit?

Tell you what...when you flop your dick out online and let people oogle it then maybe just maybe will you fell the slightest glimmer of what it feels like. 

What will it take for some people? A prosthetic dick? Maybe I will get one. You know, so that way I wont be some chick with tits that can suck you off that also has a blog online. Because we all know a woman's worth online. 


My worth is my own. My gaming is my own. And the only reason you even ask online is because you are too cowardly to go out into the real world and get bitch slapped for your comments. I DARE you to go outside, find a random chick, and first ask her if her boobs are real and then if she swallows. I FUCKING DARE YOU! Let me know when you get out of traction from getting your bones broken.


  1. Yeah, there are lotsa idiots online. Don't let one stop you from partying with random folk though, because there are potentially good people out there too. :)

    1. I will never stop trying to make friends online. That is the best part of playing GW. For this one douchbag there are hundreds of great players out there. Just found a guild full of them. It is just other peeps need to know that this shit happens. Now I am all for raunchy convos and dirty guild chats, but that is with people who are in their home space, with other like minded people. Not some random jackass.

  2. Guys like that just make me sad and angry at the same time. I really can't understand what goes on the mind of idiots like that.

    It is just isn't a question of immaturity. It is way beyond that.

    Anyway, I hope you never meet guys like that ever again and that you can get to your goal of 80 as soon as possible!(since I am not entirely too clear if you already go it.)

    1. Not 80 yet *sadpanda* but really really close.
      I get the sad and the anger part, but more to the point, I really do think that if a few guys like you stepped up and actually said 'hey shut up' it would help.
      Not that chicks cant do this themselves, but any boy *will not say man* who does this obviously dosen't give a rats ass about what a woman says anyway.
      This is the very first time I have run into this in GW2, but not on xbox live. Between the private im's, if they here me in game chat, and the weirdo's who pop into a live party, a great game can turn into a bad porno script.
      *rubs head* What is it going to take? And I thank all the stars for guys like you, my male guild mates, and my Hunny for being decent humans while gaming.

  3. We can only hope he's impotent, or never finds a woman insecure enough to date him. Don't you just wish you could track some people down and rough 'em up Jay and Silent Bob strike back style?

    1. That would make my day Aly!

    2. I just take comfort in the knowledge that this boy is so clueless about women that the only action he is liable to get is a sock. I can send him a few sharpies so he can draw some boobs on there....

  4. Oh lady, I'm sorry you would have to endure such atrocious behavior. That guy was a cowardly punk. It's sad some people use the internet's anonymity to bring out the worst of themselves. If he said that in real life he'd have five knuckles in his face.

  5. Anytime you put yourself out there it opens the door for anonymous ass-hats to have their way with you. However, you can be very thick skinned and turn the tables on them.

    Say things like "Yeah, you wish you could leave your parents' basement and see me in person. Tell your dad I said hi." Then log off. It will have his buddies busting on him for months and they'll probably follow your blog forever haha.

    Personally, I have a pretty short fuse with these people and I will very quickly tell them how immature they are by belittling them. They're little people with little minds writing words that have no weight behind them.

    And finally, if someone says "You're a girl? Can I see pics?" then you already know they are someone you DON'T want to associate with.

    1. I knew the red flags were up-hoisted, yet the benefit of the doubt should go to all. Iv had peeps ask for pictures, go to my facebook page and come back wanting a friend request for games.