Monday, May 21, 2012

This is My Story! (Aww heck naw!)

During the beta weekend of GW2, I rolled a noble human. Below is my experience in character.

I reached my home in Divinity's Reach full of pie and a sac full of loot. I carried my heavy packs through the main gate and gawked. The sun was setting over the city walls, draping the streets with a hazy golden light. ~What did Edna put in that pie?~ I took a minuets just to stroll around the promenade and take a few seconds to enjoy the city. 

My good friend Faren meet me at the entrance to my home block, surrounded with friends and neighbors. Still feeling mellow from the pie, I did neither noogie nor scream at him, but gently teased him about taking my key and raiding my home for snacks. ~whoohoo party~ We had musicians and a magician that was really a hoot. ~If you get a chance to see any follow up acts from Warmack the Magician make sure you stand aways back...his last trick is messy~

The Black Citadel brandy was flowing non-stop and I finally had to put a stop to it when Baroness Jasmina and Yolanda started to twitter at my male servants. ~Gag! Some nobles can't hang with the big dogs~ A quick word or two with Faren and my staff started to wrap ~tuck the drunker nobles into vacant sofas~ the party up when I hear a bunch of yelling and screaming!

Bandits! Bandits in my neighborhood, crashing my party? ~By some miracle of happenstance I just happened to have a long bow I had picked up from a dead drake on the way home~ Well I pulled that bad boy out and started aiming arrows to knees, By the Six! One two three four, holy cow there is a commander in here too? Aim, fire, watch for drunken party-goers, aim, fire, sic em Mr. Fluffy But! 

This is my Fluffy But ~Rosie!~ She got out the fence this week but we found her after she had her own  adventure for two days!

I was out of breath and sweating like mad when the last of the sleazy interlopers went down. A servant came up to me and told me that the bandits had kept a group in reserve, and they had kidnapped Faren! My buddy? Gone? And on my watch...~Well half watch there is only so much attentive I can do with a half gallon on brandy down the hatch~ The servant, seeing how very pissed I was gave a general direction and skittered away from me.

I whistled up Fluffy and ran in their direction. It wasn't a hard track to read. ~I mean come on! You don't just stroll into a rangers territory and expect to get away~ They had done a stupid ~stupider~ thing by stashing him three blocks down. Really? I didn't know whether to laugh or laugh harder at their naivety. The three downstairs had no chance. Arrows, knee, hound, loot. The one hiding at the top of the stairs tried to corner me. Bad idea. One more corpse to loot and I had found my friend. Thankfully not hurt!

There was a golden gem hidden in the ~ooh laughable~ attempted kidnapping. Faren heard one of his gaolers say that they were headed to an abandoned farmhouse in Shaemoor with the rest of the hostages. Hostages? Not on my watch buddy! With Faren to meet me, I set out to confront the ~snicker~ mastermind ~guffhaha~ of the whole operation and teach ~pound into~ them the basics of noble courtesy. Don't mess with a Lady's Home!

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