This is My Story! (with Pie!)

A Nobles Life for Me!

During the beta weekend of GW2, I rolled a noble human. Below is my experience in character.

Well it had been a long ass day. I go to pick up some new fashions in Shaemoor, and low and behold there are a bunch of centaurs ~I could have outran the incoming hoard easily~ trying to eat my seamstress! Well that would not do so I hastily equipped my ax ~seeing as I was a ranger of such poor foresight as to leave my bow at home~ and started to chunk them and rez the villagers. 

At the local Inn, I get the feeling that I am needed at the garrison to plug the centaur leek. Umm ok! So off I go. A few rounds of centurion ass kicking later, we all get sucked into the vicinity of this huge ~I would hate to see its armor repair cost~ Earth Elemental. 

Well lucky for me it exploded and left me waking in the local infirmary. Got to say the food was great! ~Poultry Piccata with a side of Garlic Spinach and a batch of fresh still warm Strawberry Cookies~ My dear friend Lord Faren had come by to ~steal my house key~ check up on me. Of course the very thing to do was go find my friend and have a long ~noogie session~ reasonable ~extra yelling~ conversation ~ass whalloping~ with him. 

Trying to get back to the home stead was fun, evidently just dropping me back into town was not a viable option, so here I am freshly healed with a mile or two hike in front of me. Ohh yeah and this jack ass of a watchman says that I have to help a resident of Shaemoor fields just to get back home. ~Note that if I hadn't smelled the most delectable waft of apple pie this kind sir would have been picking my ax bits out of his teeth for weeks~

Well of course I followed my nose to a fantastic open air bistro, run by Farmer Edna. I will say the service sucked! Why, I was asked to go pick the apples for my own pie! Really? ~did these people not notice that I was now the renowned HERO OF SHAEMOOR and was to be pampered in my recovery stage??~ 

So, fed up with the wait and lack of any seating I took my trusty ax and whacked the nearest tree. ~Note to self- Leave the damn trees alone!~ Well the level seven spider sleeping up there really didn't like being woken from a nap, and proceeded to show me how much with several love bites. With poison. 

Fighting in the downed state is a fun experience. ~not~ Even with Mr. Fluffy But helping out it was a total hassle. ~not to mention that my armor had taken enough abuse and decided to go all emo on me and hide~ At last I got a bit of help from a swanky looking guy with a eye patch, and we got all the apples up for Lazy Edna. 

Let me tell you now...the pie? The one I was picking apples for and almost perishing over? Evidently they have an asuran food nuker back there somewhere, because we turned in the apples and viola! Pie in .23 seconds. Not to say that it wasn't good pie, because it was freaking awesome! But there be something a bit shady with Ole Edna.....

To Be Continued!! ~dun dun duuuuunnnn~